Schema Therapy Testimonials
“I remember how bad I felt when I first started coming to see you and how apprehensive I was before my first appointment. But to feel you understood really helped me. It was also really helpful when we looked at my schemas and I could understand how my early family experiences were affecting my relationships. I’ve been able to develop my confidence and become happier.. and reduce my procrastination”.
“ There used to be a pretty much constant argument going on in my head about what to do and the self-critical voice booming loud. The understanding of what’s going on and looking after the vulnerable parts of myself is what has worked. I still have times when I feel worried and anxious but this doesn’t feel like it’s going to overwhelm me which is key.”
“The whole experience was really enlightening and different from anything I had done before. I found any other therapy I had quite painful, tiring and never ending. You made me feel much better and happier about myself. You also made things feel achievable and within reach. It all seemed much clearer. It’s things like that made these sessions stand out – initially it just made me feel better when I was here but very quickly I could see and feel progress creeping into my life. Now I can see with hindsight how much it has changed my life.”
‘Since my early years my life had been characterised by avoidant behaviour and a secretive and increasingly sexualised way of expressing myself, and with adulthood that developed into a seemingly addictive cycle of temporarily pleasurable activities, including relationships and internet use, and leading to crashing discovery, guilt and shame as my secrets became uncovered. I grew to dislike myself intensely as each discovery weakened the trust relationship with my wife and took me close to abandonment and the loss of everything I said I held dear to me; and even though I promised myself and everyone that I loved my wife dearly and would never do anything to hurt her, and that I would never do anything damaging again I did, repeatedly. With each discovery I promised I would work harder, do better and beat the curse I knew was haunting me but my own efforts proved equally temporary as the draw of the excitement and risk drew me back to the behaviours that had damaged things before.
I knew I had become powerless to change, that I needed help to help myself, and I turned with increasing desperation to counsellors, psychologists and therapists with what I thought was my real commitment to change, each time to find that the therapy I was offered fell well short of the needs of the challenge in front of me. I experienced passive therapy, so easy in which to avoid the truly difficult issues, and groups facilitated by underskilled practitioners at great expense. When another discovery of my secret life sent my self esteem plummeting to new depths I took the advice of someone I had confided in and whose opinion I trusted to consider CAT therapy, and, through the discovery of Robert and his work with me over a controlled and inclusive period of work I am so very happy to say that my life has changed, my relationship has improved and for the first time, truly the first time, I feel I can look ahead to a future without secrets and the fear of guilt and shame I had become so used to being partners of mine in my journey through life. There is no magic secret about this therapy; certainly you need to be prepared to change and be ready to confront honestly the issues you are facing, but it is in the methodical reformulations that enable you to think and amend the way in which you reach decisions and act upon them where the true remedy lies. With Robert’s help I actually feel that I worked it out for myself.’
“I came to therapy during a very low point in my life – relationship breakdown, estrangement from my family, difficulties defining my role as a father – and no longer recognised myself or knew what to do to feel ‘normal’ again. Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) appealed to me because it resonated with my systemising and model building sensibilities. By providing visual metaphors to help tease out and understand the relationship between my patterns of behaviour, my emotional responses and they ways they intertwined and snagged me was central to my process of feeling better again. The structured approach to identifying behavioural and emotion patterns helped me to recognise how what I was doing and how I felt about it could be different and provided me with the tools and insights I needed to change. Now over a year later, I still refer to models we developed during my session as they continue to help me steer a new course. I would recommend CAT to anyone who needs helps understanding why they may be stuck and what they can do to move in new directions.”
“I was at a stage in my life where I knew that I had to do something to turn things around and to be able to make some serious changes..
For 15 years I had kept secrets of betrayal and abuse to myself, not knowing what torture and hardship this was really bringing to me and into my world.
I turned to drugs and a partying lifestyle and for years pretended that everything was ok while i struggled with my job in the city.
I was able to earn enough money to compensate for the drugs and the Champaign lifestyle I had grown accustomed too,
I was an expert at pulling the wool over the eyes of many people, but mostly myself. I went through a stage of trying normal therapy, (I guess I always knew that I had problems but drink enough and do enough drugs you manage to block all the pain and hurt) but somehow the counseling I opted for never really was able to help me in the way which I truly needed and every weekend I would continue with the patterns I had grown used too.
Shortly after that I was referred to Robert and my CAT therapy began.
It was not an easy road as we went through months of opening up and talking about things and parts of my life I had never shared or discussed with anyone.
Abuse from a family friend at a young age which followed by abuse from my father. I can honestly say that the CAT therapy was one of the hardest but most rewarding things I have done in my entire life, I left many evening sessions in tears thinking how on earth could I possibly move on from this.
At one stage I even thought it was making things worst.
Its true what they say .. sometimes things need to feel worse before they get better. It has now been over a year since my final follow up session, and my life and future is brighter than I could ever have imagined,
I have moved from the UK and am now living in Dubai, working as a Director in the field that I work in. If you would have said that I would be where I am today a few years ago I would (or anyone else for that matter) not believe it!
My dark secrets never bother me anymore and I no longer live the way I used too, trying to please everyone but myself.
From time to time, I still have sad days as with life you can move on and learn how to deal with things but you never forget..
I often look back at the letters that I wrote and the diaries and logs that I kept throughout that time to remind me of the very dark place that I was in and am thankful for where I am today. I do not regret the things I have done, I do not feel that anything is my fault. I am thankful for now understanding why I did the things I did and I am mostly thankful for CAT therapy for helping me to get to this place.”
“CBT has been incredibly useful tool for helping me manage negative thoughts. It has also helped me to become more compassionate towards myself and feel less emotionally vulnerable. It has taken time, but there have been some amazing ‘breakthrough’ moments and ultimately it has been a life-changing process.”
“I was quite nervous about embarking on what I had perceived in my mind as ‘therapy’ but what was in reality to be a life changing experience in coming to terms with a close family bereavement. For me it was a time to speak openly and frankly to someone about a very sensitive issue with whom I felt completely comfortable. This in turn allowed me to work through a process that has had an enormously positive impact on every part of my life.
The best advice I can give to someone thinking about embarking on cognitive behaviour therapy with Dr Leaity is too not hold back on anything and approach it whole heartily from day one.”